Page 11/12: Big stretch

Even with a subpar lunch, Lilac felt a bit clearer-headed as they tossed the remnants into the trash. While cleaning up after lunch, Teddy guided her into a crowd filing down the halls. Teddy had run over a detailed explanation of Lilac’s schedule. Likewise, by the time they’d reached the activity center, Lilac was too embarrassed to admit she’d already forgotten.

The 'activity center' Teddy described was little more than the foyer into the courtyard. A table was laid flush with the wall, with a whiteboard hung above. Lilac's eyes moved from a tamer keeping their young patient from erasing stuff on the board to the writing itself.

Teddy briefly explained how tamers were assigned to each activity and how most took breaks while their patients were preoccupied. Or how, if staff were watching more than a single patient, their schedule might adjust to trade off. Lilac nodded as if she understood, but the entire ordeal sounded like a logistical nightmare, even as Teddy spoke about it casually.Different courses were listened to alongside the staff member presiding over them; each was designed to foster focus, restraint, or relaxation.

Considering she didn't know what the cause of all this was in the first place, there was a latent anxiety that a minor trigger could send her into a spontaneous frenzy, but Lilac attempted to replace it  with determination."Shifting is generally accordant with stress levels. It's common to start at low-strain activities and work your way up," Teddy pointed to a ranking system at the upper right—one through three stars. "Because the lifestyles of our patients vary so greatly, there is a wide selection of undertakings."

Lilac made a mental note to inquire more.  Lilac noticed a particular listing: Teddy H., Ultimate Fetch. [Canceled]

As if sensing the trepidation, Teddy spoke before the other could ask. "Our focus is always on the individual well-being of our patients, and currently, you are mine." Looking Lilac over, she adjusted her approach, "If you feel confident in wanting participate," Lilac considered the three stars at the top of the exercise, and made a mental note to inquire more.

Lilac considered the three stars at the top of the exercise, but nodded anyway. Placing her fingers to her chin, she hummed thoughtfully. Scanning the board again, her eyes stopped on an activity that sounded perfect, hoping it would pop out at her. And to her surprise, one did.

"Alright, got it," Lilac smiled up at her tamer.

The room was spacious and dimly lit; the candles burned scentlessly, and a few small water features adorned the corners. The instructor was a soft-spoken, northern Wolf with downward-facing eyes and prominent smile lines. Instead of the standard black uniform, she wore a lightweight blouse and loose-fitting pants, both with intricate painterly designs.

The teacher and the room she occupied both did their jobs well; Lilac felt an immediate ease wash over her. Yoga was simple, easy, and there was no reasonable way she could mess it up.

The instructor guided them through standard poses and encouraged thoughtful reflection on their bodies to help them physically identify the werewolf part of themselves and ease it. "Inner wolf, "she called it. Some patients snickers, a few rolled their eyes and some looked as thought they'd had an epiphany.

The pace started off slow. With each deep stretch that filled the patients around her with peace, Lilac's brain buzzed in the intermittent silence. dozens of questions flitted across her mind, occasionally stifled by her own internal monologue, which chastised itself. Failing at something as easy as meditative yoga was not on her to-do list for today, and Lilac repeatedly tried to force herself to concentrate. Meditation became counting ceiling tiles when her head was pointed upwards and taking small rhythms when her fingers were free.

Every time her brain would wander, she would force it back to center with increasing difficulty. All the wolves around her seemed in a deep state of relaxation, and Lilac felt like she was about to lose custody of herself.

Deep, guided breaths. Steady long stretches. A clock that was ticking slower than Lilac was telepathically trying to influence.

Every so often, Lilac could see Teddy glance her way, mentally cataloging and watching Lilac for any telltale signs of a shift. It was impossible not to feel self-conscious, but Lilac figured this was another thing she would learn to endure. It was a professional consideration that practically pinned Lilac in place. A bead of sweat rolled down her cheek.

Lilac stared at her paws as they posed for downward. She thought for a moment that it was the gray spot on her forearm, but it was likely just a trick of the light. Shaking her head pushed the matter out of her mind. Focus was the name of the game.

The clock told her they had an hour and 10 minutes left, and some part of her wondered if she would even last that long.

Yoga led them to basketball, which, despite Lilac’s best efforts at free throws, left her terribly unsure of her hand-eye coordination. She discovered that Teddy was, as she'd guessed, impressively athletic.

A patient stumbled toward them, unsure-footed. His tamer stayed beside him with a cautious expression, juggling spatial awareness for both of them. Lilac couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of nervousness as the pair took up most of the narrow hallway.

“Who let a fucking soft breed in here?” the patient ripped his arm away from his tamer with disgust aimed at Teddy, and secondarily at Lilac, who was already opening her mouth with a slew of apologies.

“Mr. Key, please.” His tamer weakly tried to pacify his patient’s outrage, physically placing his body between the women and his leering gaze.

Even as Lilac’s cheeks warmed, Teddy made no indication she had heard the insult. Although she appeared bored at a glance, something about her composure was enough to suck all the air from the room. As though the fiery confrontation was snuffed out beneath her feet from the weight of her dispassion alone.

“Please let us through,” Teddy spoke calmly, and although it was a request, there was no compromise. It wasn’t threatening, but it was imposing.

The fur along Lilac’s neck prickled, and her ear twitched. Even though the statement wasn't directed at her, she instinctively felt uncomfortable just standing still.

The patient leered down at her, his stature hunched in a silent, one-sided argument. He moved indignantly to the side.

“Thank you.” Lilac felt obligated to mumble as she passed.

While Teddy seemed focused on ensuring they arrived punctually for the next activity, Lilac couldn't help but ask the questions bubbling up in her throat: “Are you okay?"

The slightly taller woman looked almost surprised at the question, “Of course, why do you ask?”

“Well…just-”Lilac looked back at the disgruntled patient being chaperoned away; his grumbling faded into the facility's ambient sounds. “Does it bother you?”

Teddy tilted her head slightly, “Should it?”

The rest of the day was thankfully uneventful. The sun began to set, and the two wrapped up the night. Teddy submitted her reports for the day, and when they arrived at the dormitory wing, Henna had been waiting with a bag of various convenience store goods, from cup noodles to bags of chips.

Lilac looked over the contents of the bag as the two women spoke off in the distance. It looked like Henna had simply walked down an aisle, her hand outstretched, knocking everything into her cart as she went.

Lilac’s eyebrows raised when she was given the overflowing bag, pleasantly surprised that the woman- seemingly the one in charge- had taken the time to attempt to accommodate her. Being in the middle of farm country probably meant this came from the nearest gas station. While the contents were mostly over-processed goods, Lilac was thankful all the same. Henna ensured that the next delivery would include a small assortment of produce for her, among the hundreds of pounds of meat for everyone else, and that tomorrow would assuredly be better.

Immediately preoccupied by an egg salad sandwich, she was too hungry to be suspicious of- Henna and Teddy’s conversation went over Lilac’s head. As far as the Inu was concerned, progress reflection could wait; she had snack cakes to attend to.

Henna gave Teddy a hearty pat on the back. Lilac was surprised that she didn’t send the lithe collie absolutely flying. Henna’s build was bulky enough for Lilac to wonder if she lifted cars in her spare time. Lilac considered her case, barely over five feet, and plush like a walking teddy bear. Even still, she was able to turn a small apartment into rubble. If Henna ever had lycanthropy, I think it would take a militia to stop her.

Lilac hid a smile behind her snack cakes; despite the woman's burly form, she seemed quite sweet at her core. Even with some bumpy interactions, Lilac had little doubt she would be able to say the same about many of the occupants of the facility.

She watched Teddy fail to suppress the exhausted look on Teddy's face coupled with henna's self satisfied face. If she had to wager a guess, it was another attempt to get the collie to laugh.

The two arrived at a plain-looking door in the middle of a hall. The simple sterility of it reminded Lilac of a motel.

Inside, there was a low-set bed with the cheap-looking sheets and mattress that was probably all springs. The rolling chair by the reading-desk looked more comfortable by comparison. It all reeked of chemicals, designed to obliterate any scent left by previous occupants. There was a single shelf, high on the wall above the dresser-desk. For books, perhaps, but Lilac didn’t want to think of being here long enough to accumulate a collection.

The decor was minimal, but she almost welcomed the coziness. There was a window just above the desk, big enough to get a good view, but small enough to crush any dreams of fitting through it. Slowly, Lilac approached the bed. To her surprise, it didn’t snap or even creak when she sat down. And it was more comfortable than it looked.

"Please try to get plenty of rest. I’ll be back tomorrow. If you’d like to step out to any recreation area, please contact staff, and you’ll be escorted." Teddy turned on her heel and started walking away, her white and brown tail swishing like a feather duster. Lilac felt a bit guilty for staring.

“W-wait!” Lilac called out. She wanted to say something appreciative to the collie, but all the responses she considered seemed inappropriate. ‘Thank you for having to babysit me because I apparently have a condition where I can turn into a monster randomly.’ Probably wasn't the most eloquent way of expressing her gratitude.

“Thank you for uh, chaperoning me.” Lilac thought back to all of the micromanaging her tamer seemed to be in charge of, even as she managed the inu as a patient. “You seem pretty important around here.”

If she was at all moved by the compliment, Lilac couldn’t tell. The smile offered carried the same rigid professionalism as everything else the collie did. Speaking without fanfare, Teddy reminded,“It’s my job.” With that, she was gone.

The night passed sluggishly, though, with her entire body limp against her bed, Lilac couldn’t will herself to sleep. Staring blankly at her cracked phone screen, she pressed the power button to turn it back when it faded to black. After the 20th time or so, the screen lit up as the phone vibrated, an incoming call from mom.

Suddenly, in a blind panic, Lilac shoved the accumulation of snack cake wrappers off her bed and wiped crumbs off her shirt.

Lilac made an enthusiastic smile at her mother, "Hey, Mom, sorry I missed you, I've just been so busy."

"We have been trying to call you for ages! We were starting to worry-you couldn't spare 5 minutes to check in?" June's voice rang out with a mixture of relief and exasperation. "Max, get Arlo," June called to the house. "Your sister finally answered!"

In the distance, Lilac could hear the sounds of rushing footsteps and banging on doors. She could hear Arlo yell that he was busy, and Max cheerfully disregarded it.

She tried to work her grimace into a smile as her mother filled her in on anything and everything going on back home. Lilac winced slightly, realizing her claws had pierced her leg unintentionally.

"Now, how's school been? Any new friends? Keeping up good grades, I hope?" June layered her questions, overwhelmed with excitement to hear about her daughter's adventures in the big city. Lilac wanted to throw up.

They talked a while, and Lilac did everything she could to keep the conversation surface-level. She didn't have the strength for anything else. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

Lilac scrunched her eyebrows. "Not really…"

"Your bedding is different," Arlo acknowledged. "Your room's weirdly dark, too."

… Derofukol kro birorute, I'm too tired for this.

"They gave me a different room," Lilac gave an awkward laugh. "There was an accident, but it's alright."

"What kind of accident?" June grabbed her phone with both hands. "Are you hurt? Are you safe? Oh gods, they didn't give you a weed, did they?!"

"No, what-no." Lilac quickly calmed her panicking mother, but some part of her couldn't help but bring up the subject. "There was… a werewolf…on campus.”

"What! Lilac, do you know how dangerous those are?! Oh my-I-oh my goodness, Max call your father-" June began to hyperventilate as though she were about to have a coronary.  In the background, she could hear Max and Arlo scrambling around as their mother paced.

"No, Mom, no! It's okay... It's alright, they got 'em," Lilac attempted to pacify the situation, free hand waving wildly.

June's frantic waving of the camera screen slowed, and Lilac finally saw her mother come back into focus. She peered at the phone screen, far too close. Max gently reminded her how to hold the camera so it faced her.

"They detained them. They're getting treated, but the school says they should be able to return in the spring." Lilac let out a shaky chuckle. She was a terrible liar, so she might as well tell some part of the truth.

Lilac's mother scoffed, "They shouldn't be allowed to come back at all. Werewolves are vicious creatures, darling."

"You know they're contagious, right?" Max offered in the background, trying to squeeze himself into the frame.

"I don't think that's right-"Arlo fixed his glasses, and the three of them began bickering back and forth on the other end of the line, while Lilac wondered if it was even possible to be more exhausted than she was then.

“I mean…they’re not so bad…right?” Lilac chewed her lip nervously. Her mother was looking at her as though she’d lost her mind.

"You don’t have to excuse them. You must've been terrified." June pitied, “If it’s ever too much for you, you know you’re always welcome back home, alright?”

“Of course, Mom.” She wished she were as sure as she sounded. “I have to go, I love you guys. Tell dad I love him too.”

loving farewells were exchanged, and the call ended, leaving Lilac once again under the dark, unfamiliar ceiling. She mentally ran through the lies she had told so far and the ways she would apologize for them.

The oppressive quiet left her to ruminate on her brief time at university; it was hard not to mourn the semester, but some guilty part of her felt relieved. It was easy to forget how some canids saw others, and even more so, someone with a condition like hers.

It felt like the more she learned about the world, the less she understood why it worked how it did.

Casual crowd-watching was littered with crossbreed microaggressions, ranging from wayward insults to tail-pulling and fist-fights. Everything was about class and dominance; cliches and breeding in more ways than one. But Lilac didn’t have any of those hang-ups, because from every angle, she was a foreigner there. Being accepted by someone would mean being hated by everyone else, and being expected to hate them in turn.

Muted blues met soft whites on her dual-coated arms, and she absently rubbed at the fur down the divide. Sometimes it was hard to tell what someone was just by looking at them; sometimes it was impossible to hide.

There were foxes, dogs, and wolves. At the end of every day, she was a half-breed, where she stood usually depended on the rooms she was in, who knew, and who cared.

For a soft breed, Teddy was pretty in the way some might associate with vanity, while others might associate it with refinement. She held herself in a way that made Lilac nervous to stand next to and talk without stuttering. Lilac wouldn’t be surprised if she found out her face had been flushed red all day. Given the absurdity of the initiation and the absolute mess she’d woken up in, it was embarrassing to consider how the collie might have viewed Lilac as a whole.

She wondered how long to would take to be considered fixed and if she’d have to hide this forever. But tomorrow was a new day. Grasping desperately at some bright side to the situation, Lilac found that she really didn’t see how she could feel any worse than she already did. So in a way, there was nowhere to go but up.

  Page 9/10             Page 13/14 TBA