Page 13/14: Special Delivery

When Lilac awoke, she was greeted by Teddy’s upside-down image looking down at her. A soft curiosity painted her features as her patient was unceremoniously entangled in a mess of bed sheets on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Teddy inquired.

“I’m on the floor?” Lilac grunted, abruptly claustrophobic from her cocooned self. She struggled against the sheets as if she were fighting a ghost.

“It appears so.” Teddy moved to help the other release herself from the mess of linens. “Did you perhaps have a nightmare?”

“I don’t think so?” Lilac drew a blank.

Wordlessly, Teddy pointed to a deep claw mark that had shredded the mattress. It appeared that a fruitless clutching of the sheets was made before falling off the side.

“Oh,” Lilac grouched under her breath. Looking down at her hand, her claws were notably sharper, but she had no memory of anything upsetting. In fact, as she recalled, her dream was quite pleasant.

The bathroom, like the rest of her allotted space, was homely despite its sterile nature. A shower with a cute lunar pattern curtain. Off-white walls to keep the space bright but not blinding. Lilac had seen similar apartments in Koinu.

The only notable difference would be the bariatric scale’s excessively long rod. Daily measurements, they told her, were for. Could I get big enough to justify this? Teddy stood patiently in the doorway. Lilac boarded the apparatus.

Lilac’s brow scrunched as she looked at the numbers. She stepped off and on again. Even mentally combing through the previous day’s assorted diet wasn’t enough to justify this. She knew the food at Domestica had a reputation for being “over-processed slop,” but she couldn’t imagine it was devastating enough to make her gain 8 pounds overnight.

She glared at her reflection in the mirror. Teddy motioned to take her measurements. When she approached, Lilac faced forward and found herself staring directly into Teddy’s eyes for just a moment. White eyelashes caught Lilac’s attention before she darted her gaze to the side at the proximity. A sudden realization sank in only a few seconds later. They were eye level.

Even with her mind going into a tailspin, Teddy measured her quickly and efficiently over her clothes: waist, hips, chest, Legs, arms—even the neck.

If Teddy felt any way about it, she kept a clinical silence. For the best, Lilac caught herself thinking, failing to assuage her own intense unease at such a gorgeous lady so thoroughly examining her body.

As Teddy wrapped up, Lilac ultimately asked, “This is…going to be a really dumb question, but did you get shorter?” Lilac laughed hesitantly.

The look on Teddy’s face was enough of an answer.

Lilac slumped forward in defeat, “I thought I just got bigger when a shift happens.”

Teddy tilted her hand back and forth, “It’s not uncommon to experience some mass increases. As a symptom, it’s one of the milder ones. Do you have any other noticeable changes?”

Lilac tipped her head to the side and squeezed her eyes shut in contemplation. Lilac glanced at her forearm and noticed the grey mark had gotten a tad bigger. Still no larger than a dollar coin, not anything worth mentioning.

“Hmm…My stomach kind of aches.”

Teddy turned to a trash bin overflowing with food wrappers and frowned.

“Ah, yes, about that. Our delivery boy brought you a selection of produce. Pallet changes at times occur, so I ordered a variety.”

A rumble sounded, shocking the pair. Lilac, embarrassed, clutched her stomach and cheekily smiled. “Lead the way.”

In the near 0° room, dozens of boxes were stacked on top of each other. Lilac winced as they entered; large sealed slabs of meat hung from the ceiling and were packed tightly on every shelf. There were easily hundreds of pounds of carcasses and freshly butchered animals awaiting a building of pure carnivores. Given how ravenous they were, there was a knee-jerk question in the back of Lilac’s mind: why even bother cooking it? Low grunting came from a man standing, turning the corner with a dolly stacked taller than he stood. He was a small grey schnauzer. Where there was reasonable shock in seeing so many taller, burlier canines than her, there was something equally shocking about seeing one quite so small.

At the sound of the door opening, the man rolled his eyes disdainfully.

"You’re still here? "Teddy asked with a slight edge in her voice. She glanced at the time; a quarter past seven.

“Do I look like a ghost to you?” The schnauzer’s voice was abnormally deep despite his frame. Even at a distance, Lilac wavered; even ahead, it was 6inches taller than him. “If ya ain’t gonna help, skedaddle.”

“We’ve assisted you. Numerous times,” Teddy crossed her arms and let out a haggard breath, shivering in the cold even with her light sweater. Lilac watched their breath turn white in the frosty air, but she didn’t feel cold at all.

“And what did I say?” He looked over his shoulder at her with a smug grin beneath his fluffy mustache. Teddy didn’t bother to respond.

As he turned to slide a box onto the cold storage shelves, Teddy caught sight of something in his mouth. He didn’t have to look at her, and she didn’t even have to speak before he defended.

“I ain’t even lit it yet. Calm down,” He huffed, continuing duties.

“I apologize for him,” Teddy pinched between her brows. “Christopher delivers from his farm. The pricing is quite high, especially for such large quantities." Teddy added on, as though she couldn’t resist adding on the slight. Lilac’s eyebrows raise slightly.

“First off, the name’s Crime.” He stopped his unloading to give a challenging look. His hands moved in a flurry as he spoke, stressing every word, "Second off, not one with our quality, best shit in the area. Grass-finished, pasture-raised, and organic.”

“Industrial fertilizers and commercial pesticides are not new.”  Teddy tilted her head with an arched brow. Her arms tucked tighter into her work jacket, and she glanced around at the labeled shelves. “Besides, Highland Farms has offered a sound seasonal contract. I’ll be combing over the quote soon, unless you have a counteroffer.”

“Ok, I am not taking advice from a damn pedigree. I’ve seen what you eat.” Crime’s cheeks grew red with passion against his scruffy grey fur. “And if you wanna get everyone sick, be my guest.”

The annoyance rolled off Teddy in waves; the fur on the back of Lilac’s neck stood up. It was impressive how intimidating the collie was, even without meaning it. But the schnauzer met her head on anyway.

His tirade continued, with loud declarations about yield, metrics, and things only a farmer would boast about. A deep gurgling in Lilac’s stomach reclaimed her attention; a reminder of why they were there. Slipping away from the two, Lilac studied the walk-in Fridge. Floor-to-ceiling shelves were stacked with vacuum-sealed meats. Another growl clawed at her insides; she clenched her eyes as it passed.

Mountains of organized meat towered over them. Even in disgust, Lilac stepped closer. Surprisingly, the shelf didn't bow under the weight of it all. Running her claw along a rack of ribs, she counted each bone. There was something mesmerizing about the way the blood shifted under the plastic by the press of her finger.

Gradually, the arguing pair faded into the background as a smell caught her attention; it called to her quietly. Something permissible, something familiar. She walked forward as if bewitched.

Eventually, Teddy and Crime noticed they were alone, only to turn at the loud sounds of crunching.

“Oi, what the hell!” Crime yelled as he turned, noticing Lilac head down into the crate of vegetables, eating like a man starved. Teddy’s eyes widened as Lilac’s tail waved excitedly. Crime rushed to her, grabbed her by the curly tail, and yanked backward, to no avail.

“Could ya fuckin help?!” He yelled to Teddy.

The collie smirked as she stayed where she was.

“Smug bitch.” Crime muttered under his breath and continued to yank at Lilac’s frenzied feeding.

Unaffected by the insult, Teddy waved a dismissive hand, “They are for her, at least.”

"That ain’t my fuck- wait. Rewind a sec. She’s a patient?" Crime eyed Lilac up and down, taking extra notice of her cinnamon roll tail and golden markings along the apples of her cheeks. He pointed at her, then back at Teddy, who nodded. “Your patient?”

The terrier stilled, looking between both women until the words finally clicked. Crime let out a guttural laugh that almost knocked him over.

Teddy sighed, then put her fingers to her mouth and whistled. Lilac’s head poked out from the box and searched for the source. Blinking, she refocused and came to her senses. Lilac looked down to find she was halfway through a watermelon, rind and all. Her entire front was wet and sticky from the juice, and she turned slowly to see Crime and Teddy looking at her. She smiled apologetically. “Uh, you guys didn’t want any, did you?”

“You know what, yeah. That’s a werewolf, alright.” Crime deadpanned.

An uncomfortable, embarrassed laugh welled up and out of Lilac as the others looked at her. One with annoyance, one with interest. Hastily, Lilac brushed the remains of her spontaneous overindulgence.  Although she didn’t voice it, Lilac’s conflicting thoughts were plastered on her body as they tidied the pantry floor.

Despite his annoyance at the women’s disruption to his already very behind schedule, Crime requested Lilac’s preference on produce for his inevitable return. Truthfully, she can’t say she even tasted the meal any further beyond the remnants on her tongue. Carrots, pumpkin, potatoes: everything that would’ve made for a perfect stew if she’d had the willpower to hold back long enough for it to be made. She complimented the quality, and she swears he puffed out his chest at the praise.

Crime assured he’d be back by noon with a new shipment, and Lilac tried not to flush under having to be accommodated in so many ways. Despite his gruff demeanor, he was adamant that the job be completed.

By the time they cleaned up and helped a reluctant Crime unload the rest of his truck, Teddy reminded them that they had a schedule to maintain. A concerning thought lingered in the back of her mind.  A rushed thank-you met a gruff dismissal, and, like that, the two women were out the door.

Lilac gave a sheepish nod to the cafeteria workers they passed as they came out of the building. A charbroiled scent clung to them like a second coat, and Lilac suddenly felt it very hard to breathe.  She tried to swallow down each thought that bubbled to the surface, one by one.

The fact that she’d momentarily lost control of he own faculties.

The fact that she was able to clear nearly 20 pounds of produce without flinching.

And the fact  that despite everything, she was still hungry.

---

Page 14

Despite her time at the facility being a functional Lilac’s recess from university, it couldn’t be said that she wasn’t learning quite a bit. Her days were filled with new trials as each day she tried to unravel her new reality. Even with the intense exertion of exercise or the casual chaos the other patients brought, she seemed, for the most part, unchanged.

She and Teddy walked through the hallway; a beautiful mural of patients’ paw prints covered the wall in dozens of paint colors. Even with the nature of the facility, Lialc was impressed with all the little ways the staff went out of their way to make it inviting. It was far less “cages and shackles” and more “University dipped in madness.”

“Therapist? I thought you were my therapist?” Lilac asked as they neared the group therapy room.

“Physical therapist,” Teddy corrected. “I specialize in acupressure, aerobics, gymnastics, and several other extracurricular areas of study. While I can help with your core strength, psychiatric care is out of my depth.”

Lilac was getting relatively good at letting her rambles fill the silence, and Teddy would occasionally nod to show she was listening. But often she didn’t offer much commentary, so it surprised her when Teddy was openly curious.

“May I ask what you were in school for? I don’t believe you got to finish when you mentioned it.”

“Would it be bad to say I don’t really know?” Lilac tensed up, rubbing her neck uncomfortably. It was impossible to explain; despite her family’s protests, she had always dreamed of venturing to the big city, hoping to find herself in a way she couldn’t back home. The irony wasn’t lost on her, at least. “Honestly, I suck at school. I enjoy learning things, but I hate studying. It’s only been a few months, and I’ve already switched my track four times. I think the admissions officer is sick of seeing me.” Lilac’s shoulder slumped down with defeat. “I thought I would figure it out. Now I have all of this going on.”

Lilac groaned and asked, “How did you know you wanted to work here? I mean, no offense, but you’re like-” Lilac gestured at Teddy with hand movements like she was tossing glitter. “-and this place is like-” her hands flailed around sporadically, articulating her point.

Teddy gave a half-grin at the attempt. “I earned dual credits while in high school, so I received my bachelor’s at 16. My courses were predetermined for me.” She glanced away in consideration. “As for employment here, that was…less expected.”

Lilac stopped in the middle of the hallway to gawk at the border collie. If her jaw had dropped any lower, it would have been dragging along the floor. Teddy stood with her hands behind her back, tilting her head at Lilac’s bewilderment. She didn’t seem to take any pride in her achievement; in fact, she spoke about it as though it wasn't impressive at all. After a moment of thought, Lilac gave a disarming laugh.

“Did I say something funny?” Teddy asked genuinely when she noticed a Lilac smile on her face.

“No, my brother Arlo is a lot like that; he’s a big nerd.” Lilac choked on the words as she said them, realizing her mistake. “Oh- I mean, you’re not a nerd; I just mean that you’re really smart, and he’s also pretty smart. I just meant that you two are both cool. Not like icy, but like cool in a positive way, does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. Sorry, I’ve been talking for way too long, haven’t I?”

Lilac raised her hands as if to convey her honesty. Teddy blinked twice at her, face blank with shock. Her eyes darted towards the entrance to group therapy, and Lilac nodded dumbly. Her face was probably red enough for both of them.

With an awkward, apologetic chuckle, Lilac shuffled forward. The room held a dozen patients seated in a circle, angled towards a single white wolf at the center. And Lilac quietly let out a breath at how mountainous she was. Where most wolves sat at 6 feet or more, this woman had to be nearing 7 feet, including her ears. She was generously curvy with a fluffy ring of fur around her neck. The term “mountain goddess” came to Lilac’s mind more than she wanted to admit.

It was easier to see the differences between the various types of wolves.

The Arctic wolf looked at Lilac and Teddy as they entered the room. Her ice-white coat was a stark contrast to her charcoal eyes and nose. The serene grace in her demeanor helped Lilac’s shoulder relax. Throwing one last nervous look over her shoulder, Lilac watched Teddy wave and point to an open seat next to Alexis and Noah before departing for other duties. She would be outside waiting for Lilac when the session let out.

Logically, Lilac should feel more relieved to have a handler beside her who was physically larger than her own, but a pang of nervousness came with Teddy’s absence anyway.

The group leader’s name was Diana, and she spoke boldly, her enthusiasm radiating outward. It was enrapturing. It was the kind of all-encompassing gratitude one expressed when truly thankful to be alive.

Since Lilac was one of 4 new patients in her group, Diana decided to start with a share circle. She listened to each story with fascination. Her leg bounced, and she leaned in.

One patient, a coastal wolf, stood up on a casted leg with a braced neck. Even though Diana motioned nervously for her to stay seated, the woman shook off the concern and spoke to the audience. Her name was Coral. The first shift came in the middle of the night; her body grew so large that her husband didn’t recognize her and assumed an intruder had snuck in. Somewhere between the panic and screaming, she ran out into oncoming traffic and got hit by a car. Unphased by her own tale,  she reminisced about how many flowers her husband sent to the facility since she arrived; there were only so many times she could forgive him. Awkward laughter followed her lighthearted joke about knowing how it feels to be the deer in the headlights. A silent question hung in the air about what kind of life someone would need to become so unshakable.

The second patient, Lilac guessed, was a northeastern wolf from his appearance alone. If his broad shoulders and hunched posture weren’t a giveaway, his prominent underbite was. Thick bottom fangs curled outward like boar tusks, and he spoke with a lisp.

His name was Greyson. Wild and unkempt fur tufts sprang away from his body as though he had been electrocuted. From Lilac’s distance, he appeared to have clumps of matted hair around his neck, tail, and up his arms. As he stood, one fell to the ground with a small clink. They were quills.

He explained that, from his first shift, his body’s keratin production tripled overnight. In the first few months, his body grew so many of them that the tightness against his skin caused lesions. It felt like being coated in dried cement. With every uncontrolled shift, a new, thicker layer formed a shell of matted, hardened fur. The pain alone caused him to lash out, clawing at his body fruitlessly until he inevitably passed out. He never let anyone know about his shifts; he never mentioned them. Concerned friends said he looked like a mutated armadillo as they cut chunks of fur off with sheep shears. By morning, the process started over again. The anxiety caused shifting, and shifting caused more growth; it was a closed loop. It took almost a year to get diagnosed, and he nearly went mad.

Lilac felt her skin crawl under her fur. Reflexively, she rubbed her arms up and down, appreciating the softness. The state he appeared in was after weeks of specialized treatment. Although it wasn’t perfect, he could finally move without discomfort.

Diana thanked each patient for their bravery in being so honest. It was optional, but every story made the next one easier to tell, even if it was harder to hear.

It shouldn’t have caught Lilac off guard when the spotlight inevitably fell on her. She thinks she said her name, but standing before a crowd always made Lilac’s mind go blank. Hearing her own voice as though she were sitting in the crowd herself, she answered the obvious unspoken question and confirmed she was a half-breed. As subtly as everyone tried to keep their curiosity, it’s difficult to ignore how many were staring at her curly tail. Her cheeks must have been rosy pink.

The shame of her apartment’s condition was still fresh in her mind; she didn’t intend to say it aloud, but the group’s honesty made it compulsory to admit it. But as she spoke, to her surprise, the silent scrutiny she felt almost seemed to lessen. Out of breath, she wasn’t sure how long she had been talking when she sat down.

Just after her, Noah stood up and reintroduced himself. Being part of the graduation class marked today as his 4th-to-last group session. Curses and expletives layered his speech, and Lilac began to assume they were embedded in his vocabulary, no matter how many nudges from Alexis he received.

Noah’s first shift, Lilac learned, was during a particularly heated argument with his ex-wife. Something about schedules, child support payments, and other things wasn't worth the frustration it triggered in him. He swallowed thickly as he continued. What started as anger issues ended with an assault charge, a hospital visit, and a judge will decide if he gets to see his kids again.

Lilac’s body went cold; she felt numb. He nodded toward and sat down, not sure how to finish gracefully. Despite this man’s imposing size and muscles that twitched beneath his shirt, in that moment, he looked even smaller than Lilac. Solemn empathy filled the room like another body. No one moved to dispel it.

Diana’s calming assurance rang out. Although it was directed at Lilac, the kindness extended to everyone in attendance.

By the time group therapy let out, Lilac was emotionally run dry. Teddy offered a sympathetic ear, but struggled with the consolation. It wasn’t her department.

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[Click to view Chapter doodle]

can't stress enough, this man is 4'6''.

[Author's Notes]

I had a lot of fun writing in the patient's stories, I want to drop in some fringe cases here and there to really get the breadth of the condition conveyed. I feel like I could've gone gruffer for Crime but like he's already towing the "how are you not fired yet" territory so...(I like to think Henna likes his moxie)